


A Melancholy Soliloquy

by ridingdaydreams



Series: A Series of Despondent Events [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: American History, Bickering, Dib Being an Idiot (Invader Zim), Emotionally Repressed, Enemies to Friends, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Humor, Italics, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Self-Destruction, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, The Almighty Tallest Being Assholes (Invader Zim), ZADF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26456998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ridingdaydreams/pseuds/ridingdaydreams
Summary: In which Zim is absent from skool and Dib actually has a heart. Sort of.
Relationships: Dib & GIR (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim's Computer (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), GIR & Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: A Series of Despondent Events [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923265
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	A Melancholy Soliloquy

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic of dozens that I've actually finished, and it's for Invader Zim of all things. I hope you guys enjoy my okay writing!

It was about a month into their freshman year when Dib noticed something was off about Zim. Well, more so than usual. They were still getting into fights and Zim was still trying to take over Earth with Dib on his heels every step of the way. But the alien seemed almost listless, there was a lackluster about him and his plans seemed almost forced. There was no heart in it, there was no life in Zim.

At first Dib was ecstatic, the alien had finally realized that he was no match for Earth’s protector! But then Dib began to feel weird, a little miffed even. He had put his all into fighting Zim for _years_ , how dare he face him so halfheartedly! He felt betrayed! Angry! Strangely a little lonely, but that was a thought for another day. He was going to give Zim a piece of his mind.

The boy had been fully prepared to yell at the alien the next day at school, if he had shown up that is. That was okay, he could wait a day. And then two days, and then a week. At that point Dib had moved passed angry to downright concerned. Not that he would openly admit that. Zim had never been out for that long, always going on about being the perfect human with the perfect attendance.

After a full week of a no-show alien Dib got tired of waiting and marched to Zim’s base after school. The boy had invaded the base enough times to know some of the weak points in the defenses. However, this time he didn’t need to sneak in. The very creepy and not even remotely normal lawn gnomes didn’t budge aside from turning to look at him. Cautiously, Dib had strolled up to the door, which had oddly been left ajar, and pushed it open with his foot.

Taking a deep gulp of air, the investigator swallowed his fear and all but leapt into the eerily quiet house. “ZIM! I don’t know what you’re up to but I’m here to stop it!”

After several minutes of absolutely no response, Dib awkwardly coughed into his fist and took a more neutral pose in place of his heroic one. Looking around the base, he noticed how abandoned it looked, there were dirty dishes and old food just flung about. There were some very questionable objects that Dib tried not to look too long at as well. Definitely not something a clean freak like Zim would let slide. Even his weird little evil robot dog thing was nowhere in sight, though that was probably the cause of the mess if Dib had to guess.

“Uhh… Hey, Computer..?” Dib had briefly spoken to Zim’s oddly rude computer before, but his experiences were usually him getting thrown out of the base, so he was pleasantly surprised when he received an “Ugh. What do _you_ want?” in response.

Gathering up his courage once more, Dib pushed, gaining confidence with each word. “Where’s Zim? What’s he up to?!” There was a pause, and if Dib didn’t know any better, he would think the computer was hesitating to answer him. “…he’s…indisposed at the moment.”

_Indisposed?_ Dib wasn’t sure what that meant but he did not like the sound of it. He had to be plotting something particularly nasty with that response.

With newly restored courage, the investigator pointed upwards striking a pose that could rival Subaru. “Take me to him!”

His confidence deflated when the computer responded with “Uh. No.”

“Please..?” he tried again, a lot less demanding, but still keeping the pose. “Fiiine, I guess. He’s in the basement. I’m not really supposed to let anyone in, but whatever. It won’t matter soon anyway.”  
With that eerie comment, Dib was ushered towards the oddly placed toilet and promptly flushed before he could really think on it.

Upon reaching the basement Dib both suddenly understood and was even more confused as he watched the scene before him unfold. There was a message playing on the screen, in it were two aliens that looked like Zim but taller and with different coloured eyes. Dib would’ve been fascinated by that if it weren’t for Zim.

The alien in question seemed to be wrestling with his robot minion. “GIR! Let go!” Zim yelled as he tried to pry his arm out of the robot’s very tight grip.

An undisguised Gir was clinging on Zim’s arm with all his might while _crying_ though Dib was not at all sure how that was possible. “BUT MASTER’S GONNA ‘SPLODE” was all Dib could make out through the sniveling and wailing coming from the robot.

Zim, for what it was worth, had a wide mixture of expressions fleeting across his face during the exchange. The prominent emotion was oddly enough, exhaustion. Zim looked tired. It stuck out to Dib because as far as he knew, Irken’s had no need for sleep. It was just plain weird for Zim to look so tired, drained even.

“ _Yes, Gir_. That’s the point of the self-destruct button. Now LET GO and let Zim get on with it!” came the very rushed and annoyed reply.

Dib recognized that attachment from the first day Zim had “transferred” to Skool. Zim was going to use it when Dib had pointed out he was an alien until the class wrongly accused him of being crazy. He completely forgot it even existed. And yet, here was Zim, trying to push that very same button.

His attention was suddenly brought back to the screen, he couldn’t understand Irken so he didn’t know what they were saying but Dib’s heard enough mocking laughter to recognize it in any language. And by the looks of Zim flinching at that, he was sure he could put two and two together.

Zim’s leaders were mocking him.

Dib felt a pang in his chest, knowing full well what that feels like. He always suspected Zim was an outcast, especially after meeting Tak. Zim was so overconfident though that Dib often doubted the validity of it, but he would also have moments that proved Dib may be right. This was one of those moments.

Dib could only guess what Zim’s leaders were actually saying, but it had to be pretty bad for the alien to attempt suicide. Or, the Irken equivalent. Another pang coursed through Dib’s body as he recalled the time he had been in that exact same mindset.

After some intense struggling, Zim managed to pull his arm away from Gir with a morbidly triumphant look on his face. Adjusting himself, the alien gave his robot one last weary look before a pained smile replaced his features as if saying goodbye and reached for his wrist.

“Wait!” Dib’s voice and body reacted, reaching out to Zim before he even had the chance to think it through. An action he almost immediately regretted with no weapon to defend himself in case the alien retaliated.

Zim froze, hand lightly hovering over the self-destruct button. Antenna stood straight into the air and Zim fixed his startled glare upon the intruder that he somehow hadn’t noticed amidst all the chaos.

“Dib.” Zim’s voice carried no recognizable tones and his facial features were devoid of emotions. Dib had quite honestly never been afraid of Zim, call it over-confidence or stupidity, but he never felt true fear. That was no longer the case.

Red met amber and Dib was man enough to admit he flinched. A little. Just slightly. He was not, however, going to acknowledge the sweat he felt dripping down the back of his neck as his adrenaline spiked.

“Why are you here.” It wasn’t as much of a question as it was a finely veiled threat that solely depended on Dib’s response. Dib swallowed a large lump that had formed in his throat and retracted his outstretched hand to awkwardly cough into it. He was not stalling while trying to form an escape plan. Of course not.

“I…uh…you haven’t been to Skool lately?” The glare he received told him he had better keep talking and it better be good.

Realizing that escaping would be near impossible, Dib let out a defeated sigh before fixing his gaze back to the annoyed alien ahead of him. If he were being honest with himself, he knew exactly why he stopped Zim. It was the same reason he stopped trying to actually expose Zim, not that he would openly admit that.

_Dib didn’t want Zim to disappear._

In some messed up way, Zim was the closest thing Dib ever had to a friend. Zim was the only one to actually acknowledge Dib as anything more than ‘that crazy kid.’ Dib would be lost without Zim. Again, he could be tortured, and he still wouldn’t admit that.

Something in Zim’s expression wavered and his antenna briefly twitched forward, Dib recognized that as something the alien usually did when he was confused or curious. That likely meant that the boy’s face was displaying all the mixed emotions he was feeling.

A light pink dusted his cheeks at being read like an open book. He knew Zim couldn’t possibly know what he was thinking, but there was also no doubt in his mind that the alien could read his facial expressions. Opening his mouth to speak again, the teenager was promptly shut up by the feeling of metal slamming into his leg, _hard_.

Stunned, Dib looked down in dread only to see Gir clinging to his leg and staring back up at him with tears in his eyes. Seriously, how was he doing that?

Relief at not being impaled flooded his system as the robot began to talk. Or at least attempted to through the wailing and tears. “MARY! You have to save master from ESPLODING!”

Gir didn’t even flinch at the curt yet very agitated “GIR! Stop that!” that came from Zim. Almost completely ignoring his master, the robot continued to stare pleadingly up at Dib. “He needs you, Mary!”

‘Mary’ felt very uncomfortable with the situation he somehow found himself in. A wailing robot clung to his leg while asking for help to stop his master from exploding. The master in question looked like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to murder Dib or dismantle Gir. He wanted to do both, but he didn’t know which to do first.

Dib coughed awkwardly as his gaze shifted between the robot and his alien master. He was at a complete loss. If he said the wrong thing, he could end up skewered. But a part of him knew that if he left without talking to Zim, he would never get the chance again.

Something in Dib’s stomach sank at that thought.

Gnawing at the inside of his cheek as he though, Dib looked back to Zim who had been strangely quiet. The alien’s face was still neutral, but his antenna continued to be set in the boy’s direction. If Dib was going to speak his mind, that was the perfect time.

“Uh…look, Zim. I know we have our differences-” A frown and a slight glare changed his wording. “Okay, we practically hate each other. But, well… I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, and I can’t say I really want to… But I do know that I…” _Need you._

Shaking his head of the unspoken words, Dib continued. “You can’t just disappear, okay? You’re my nemesis! Whose stupid evil plans to take over Earth am I supposed to stop every week if you’re gone? You… I know how selfish you are, but you can’t just do that to me!” Dib knew very well how hypocritical that sounded, but that was how he felt. He never claimed to be a great motivational speaker.

Zim, for his part, was both stunned and appalled. His antenna were standing straight up and his eyes were wide open along with his mouth. Here he was minding his own business, about to self-destruct like the good Irken soldier he was and what did he get for his troubles? A miserable, stinking _human_ lecturing him about being _selfish_.

“SELFISH? Zim _SELFISH_?! How DARE you call the almighty ZIM _selfish_!” Zim’s voice raised a few octaves as he pointed at Dib before continuing his enraged outburst. “YOU are the selfish one, _Dib!_ You are the most selfish of ALL OF THE SELFISH…fish”

Dib, not at all surprised, raised an eyebrow at Zim’s display. “…You don’t know what that means, do you?”

“SILENCE!” He definitely did not know that word, but he was also not going to admit that. He could just look it up later and make Dib rue calling him that. Just for good measure, he added “And get out of my base!”

Dib frowned at that, not sure what would happen if he did leave Zim alone. He seemed like typical Zim, but what about after Dib left? Would he just continue where he had been interrupted? Would Dib never see him again? Looking down at his leg, he found Gir still clinging to him.

With only slight hesitation, Dib bent down and awkwardly grabbed onto the robot and struggled for a moment trying to pry himself loose. Dib let out a small sigh of relief when Gir let go and stood back up as he held the robot out in front of him. He didn’t exactly trust the thing enough to hold it any closer than arm’s length.

After making sure Gir wasn’t going to attack him, Dib looked back to Zim and his frown deepened as he carefully chose his next words. “Fine, I’ll leave. But only if you promise me that I’ll see you at skool tomorrow.” Before Zim could argue, which he was opening his mouth to do, Dib continued. “If you promise me that, I’ll tell you a secret about Earth that you don’t know.”

That caught Zim’s attention, but he wasn’t one to be baited so easily. “FOOLISH earth-monkey! There is nothing about this _sniveling_ planet that Zim doesn’t already know!”

“Oh. Then, I guess you already know about Earth’s greatest weapon known to man.” Seeing Zim falter, Dib knew that he managed to pique his interest. “It was created by the Japanese, but it failed. Hardly anyone knows about it. I’m sure you could find some use for it though, given how much of a _genius_ you are and everything. Buuut…there’s no shame in feeling like you can’t figure it out.” He ended his speech with a nonchalant shrug and realized how stiff he was starting to feel from holding Gir for so long.

Completely baited, Zim laughed at Dib’s comment and brought his extended finger back to point at his own chest. “ZIM _IS_ A GENIUS! I can take your pitiful _failed_ weapon and make it better! Yes…it will be so much better.” Zim paused to make grabby motions at Dib while adding “gimme” as if he had forgotten about the promise.

Shaking his head, Dib all but threw Gir to Zim before dropping his arms at his side. That robot was way heavier than he looked. He wasn’t the least bit surprised however, at how easily Zim had scooped him out of the air, Gir giggling the entire time.

Waiting until the robot was put back down with a shocking amount of gentle and care, Dib hid his surprise and spoke up again. “Well, do we have a deal?”

An annoyed huff came from Zim followed by a less than pleased glare at the boy before him. He didn’t like making deals with _humans,_ but he was curious about this weapon. And if Dib was lying to him, he could always try out any other weapon he invents on him. With an almost bored look on his face, Zim waved his hand in Dib’s general direction before replying. “Yes, yes. Zim will grace everyone with his amazing presence tomorrow.” Taking a second to point his outstretched hand, he continued with a threat in his voice. “But if you are lying to Zim, Dib-beast, you will regret it. Ohhh the regret you will feel. It will be oh so _delicious_.”

Dib managed to hide the sudden cold chill he felt down his back very well. Zim was not one to make empty promises. Without having a chance to say anything further on the mater, Zim suddenly gave a loud shout of “COMPUTER! REMOVE THE DIB!” and Dib found himself splayed out on Zim’s front lawn.

~~~

The next day at school, Dib was early. Very early. Two hours early. He had not slept too well the night before, constant thoughts of what Zim was up to flooded his mind and kept him awake.

As he sat in his homeroom, he couldn’t stop the feeling of dread in his heart and stomach. He didn’t know what he would do if Zim didn’t show up, he didn’t know what he _could_ do. So he waited, anxiously. After about an hour and a half, the more studious of classmates started filing in. Fifteen minutes before class more students dragged their feet into the room, but still no Zim.

Dib was a wreck.

His legs were bouncing up and down as if he had downed three energy drinks and a coffee, something he had admittedly done before. His fingers couldn’t keep still so he was twirling a pen in both hands, an impressive feat if he didn’t look so manic. And he was nervously chewing on the inside of his cheek. Most of the students in his classes didn’t talk to Dib because he was weird, but none of them even wanted to sit near him as they entered the classroom and saw the state he was in.

Just as he was about to burst out of his seat, a blur of green met his vision right as the bell rang to signal the start of class. It was Zim. He had shown up. Relief flooded Dib’s system as he saw the disguised alien speaking with the homeroom teacher and handing her a note, most likely a forged doctor’s note excusing his absences.

Giving a displeased frown at having to see Dib, Zim took his seat in front of the boy without so much as a “hello” but Dib didn’t care. He was just glad to see Zim. Wow, he never thought that would ever happen.

~~~

The day went on like normal, the only main difference was that Zim didn’t antagonize Dib. In fact, the alien had been relatively quiet in all of their classes. He hadn’t even demanded Dib give him the information about the super weapon. Dib would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little worried. It just wasn’t like Zim to be so silent.

After their last class, Dib had been fully prepared to confront Zim, but the alien beat him to it. As the last of the students filed out of the classroom, Zim walked up to Dib and held out his hand expectantly. Raising a confused brow at the gesture, Dib fixed his gaze upon Zim’s with a silent question.

The alien gave a huff of annoyance before explaining himself. “Zim kept up his end of our… _Deal_. Now give Zim the weapon!”

Realization flashed across Dib’s face, his mouth making a silent “oh” as he proceeded to shove his hand into his pocket. After a few seconds of fishing around Dib found what he was looking for and pulled it out before unceremoniously dropping it into Zim’s waiting hands.

A triumphant smile flashed across the alien’s features only to quickly turn into a confused frown, and a look of mild irritation spread onto his face. Zim’s voice came out calm yet threatening. “I see. The Dib wishes today to be his last one on this miserable planet.”

Knowing the conversation was quickly escalating into a fight, Dib held up his hands in a show of compliance. “Wait, wait! I wasn’t lying. Come on, I’ll show you!”

Reaching out, Dib clasped his hand onto Zim’s unoccupied one and rushed out of the classroom, dragging the now completely annoyed alien behind. He knew Zim wouldn’t go with him just because he asked, but he was also fairly certain the alien was still too melancholy to outright attack him from dragging him along. Dib, for reasons he wasn’t ready to think about, wanted to help Zim. Not help him take over the world, but at least help him take his mind off of his self-destructive thoughts.

The boy was so lost in his thoughts, he almost walked right by his intended destination. Coming to an abrupt halt, he heard Zim curse something in Irken next to his ear and felt him hurriedly take a step backwards. He murmured a quick “sorry about that” before Zim could berate him for not paying attention to where he was going.

Taking the apology as good enough, Zim glanced around and very quickly levelled Dib with a look that said he better explain why they’re standing in the playground. As if that were his cue, the boy pulled the alien down to crouch behind the bushes, Zim giving out a small undignified yelped. “You _sniveling-_ ” The rest of his threat was cut off by a shout coming from the playground.

“I’M HIT!” Yelled out one of the teenagers as he fell to the ground with an extremely dramatic ‘thud’ which caught both onlookers’ attention. Another teenager, presumably the one who had attacked the previous one let out a victorious “Got ‘em!”

Zim, who’s attention had been completely captivated at this point, homed in on the weapons the kids had been using against each other and instantly recognized them as the very same thing Dib had given him.

_Balloons._

The group of kids were attacking each other with balloons filled with liquid. Staring intensely, Zim noticed the liquids in the balloons weren’t water like the ones Dib had attacked him with back in grade skool. These balloons were filled with colourful liquids that smelled strongly of chemicals.

Realization dawned on the alien as he looked down at the magnificent weapon in his hand. “ _Yes._ Zim sees now. These things can be filled with _terrible_ **poisons** that are dangerous to your kind, much like that _horrible_ earth water you used against me.”

Not super sure how Zim had drawn that conclusion together, Dib gave a small shrug before redirecting his gaze back towards the alien beside him. “I mean…the Japanese used it to hold and release bombs by traveling them through the air currents, but sure. That works too, I guess.”

Dib was usually not one to supply Zim with any sort of ammo that could be used against the human race, but he knew the alien wouldn’t be able to do much, if any, damage with a few simple water balloons. And if he did somehow make a super weapon with them? Dib would be amazed, and then destroy it.

Already seeing the cogs turning in the alien’s brain, or whatever Irken equivalent he had, Dib let a small smile of relief grace his face. He would dig through his confusing feelings later, for now he was fine with just burying them and enjoying the weird moment.

As if he could feel eyes on him, Zim directed his vision back to Dib and gave a confused frown at the smile. After a moment of silent contemplation, Zim pulled his hand from Dib’s grasp and donned a disgusted sneer. “Your big head is too close to Zim, the smell is going to stick to my clothes!”

And with that, Zim promptly stood up and began walking home. Looking down at his hand, Dib couldn’t stop the smile from spreading wider even at the insult he had just received. Again, he would unpack those emotions at another time.

Zim was strong, stronger than Dib has ever given him credit for. He would get through this, and Dib would do his best to be there when he needed a push.

**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end, thanks for reading! For those of you who are curious, Dib was referencing the Japanese Fu-Go balloon bomb from 1944. I don't know what universe/country the Invader Zim world is supposed to be, but I'll just leave it fairly ambiguous in my writings lmao.  
> Feel free to leave constructive comments/kudos!


End file.
